She is there.

Best friends. I hear that a lot, but what is a “best” friend? Usually when someone talks about their best friend it is a buddy or girl friend that they run around with, can confide in and have good times together. I’ve got that right at home. I am a very lucky man, indeed.

I’m not sure when the Betty became my “best” friend. Maybe it was when we worked together, and both of us were married to others. Occasionally at work when I could see that work was stressful I would talk with her to see if there was anything that my sales team could do to make her job easier. You know how most sales people are always in a rush and expecting so much from the administration’s staff to process their orders – as if that is all they had to do all day. Nothing is more important to a sales rep than getting paid. Don’t mess with their money, they say. Forget how about five other people in the office must touch their order to make it happen; from inputting the order in the system, getting equipment set up and ready, shipping it and installing it –all on a strict schedule. In my office, nothing got done without the Betty doing it right and rarely with a smile, I might add. She “hated” sales people. “Lazy, boorish, overbearing, rude and demanding” would be her description if she ever said it out loud.

She wouldn’t even give a new hire a pen, much less a stapler until they could sell something. That is where she rightly earned her name, “Betty Bitch” or BB as we all called her – many still do today. It is hard getting on her good side. I can’t really say she has a soft side, but I do see it occasionally.

So you see, making her happy sure helped me in those days to get things done. Just like now. Betty was in charge of the office secretaries, and the dispatch system. You wanted a demo, well God help you if your paperwork was incomplete. Same thing if you turned in an incomplete order. You would find that paperwork right back in your inbox that afternoon with a not-so-nice note about what you were to do. So, I trained my reps on how to meet her expectations early on in their careers. She appreciated it then, and I’m sure still does when I meet her “expectations” today. I was the young gun in the office – starched button-down type she couldn’t stand with a quick mouth, too. But, together over those first few months we learned about each other’s way of getting the job done- selling on my part and getting the orders billed on hers. We made a great team and our business grew during that time. We learned to trust each other. We became friends.

Her husband at the time wasn’t a very nice man. I am sure that her strong personality was quite the challenge to him with his military background of “following orders” and not questioning his thoughts on life. During my first years after meeting Betty we could talk after work for hours over a few cold ones about both her marriage and mine. Kind of bouncing ideas off each other about what is wrong and what each other could do about it. It is true that in most office environments like ours that you spend a lot more time at work that you do at home. You go to work all showered, clean and put on a nice work suit or dress everyday. At home, sometimes people get lazy and don’t look so nice and get way too comfortable and take each other for granted. I admit it – me to. I loved my job, was good at it; and a great deal of my success was because of the way that BB took care of my work and my sales teams. She cared. It showed and the sales grew.

By now most people know the story about how the B and me got married. We moved in together-B with her dog and one cat, and me with a cat and two more dogs. Quite the challenge to make everyone get along, indeed; but we made it work. We lived on a great street back then and our house had the perfect driveway that curved into the garage to the west so we could set chairs out front in the shade and solve the world’s problems together over cocktails, and a dog or two on a tie-out also. We did this nearly every night for most of the 15 years we lived there – true story! Neighbors would come over, and many nights we would not eat dinner until way past most folk’s bedtime. Not having kids really gave us the time together-real time with just each other to share our day, talk about tonight and plan on our future lives. We became “best friends” on that driveway I truly believe. Of course, one of us would occasionally say or do something not so nice to the other. But, one of us would always say that he is sorry, and Betty would say that’s ok.

It was during these driveway years that I began to travel so much for work. It was very hard on the Betty at first. We were never apart for more than a rare night or two for the first seven years of marriage. She told me that she was OK with me taking that new job with all the expected travel – after all it was a “field” manager position with all that implies. My new office was in Stamford, north east of New York, for God’s sake! Good thing I never had to go there much. That first week out I was gone Sunday night and came back Friday, riding with the guy who’s territory I was assigned. Sure, I was busy – but my best friend was at home, hurting like a puppy missing his litter-mates one by one. I would call home every night before her bed time to talk about our day and tell her I love her. Just like I will tonight.

She was the first person I called when I hung up the phone when I made that big sale one time in the early 90’s. I cleared $50,000.00 on that deal-and I was so excited I couldn’t stand it! I figured out that I had made more money than Emmit Smith did that month during his 2^nd year with the Cowboys-that’s how I looked at it. A month later I bought my best friend a convertible Corvette for our 2^nd anniversary. She was used to her Geo Storm and I drove her over to look at this beautiful car and couldn’t wait for her excitement to show, too! Well, the B isn’t really into cars much but she did let me trade in the old Geo for the ‘vette. Problem was it had a white convertible top on it and to me, it just looked wrong. So, I had asked if they would replace it with a black one. Well, being the last day of the month turned out to be a good thing as we agreed to split the cost on a new convertible top, but it would take about a week to get it done. They gave her a Chevrolet Lumina as a loaner; a nice one with a big V-8 in it, too. After about two days, the Betty tells me that she wants to keep the loaner! I almost dropped a load right there! Here I am-giving her a RED CONVERTIBLE CORVETTE, and she wants to keep the loan car! Well, that is what she needed a best friend for, was to talk some sense into her and quick! Once the dealer had her new car back with the new black top on it and she took it down Highway 114 for a spin, I think it kind of grew on her some. She took it home that night. Her boss at the time just about pulled his hair out when his office manager pulled in next to him that next morning in the parking lot, too. I wasn’t there, but I know that she enjoyed that moment, because she still likes to tell that story.

She was there when my 95 year old grandmother died and she was there when my father’s only brother died, and she was there when a dear friend of mine killed himself one day. Best friends go to the funeral with you. Best friends let you cry and will cry with you, too.

The great thing about a best friend is that you know that they will always be there to answer the phone. A voice you can count on. That’s what my best friend is, and I’m missing her right now.