People, people, please get out of the left lane!
It isn't just me asking you - it's the LAW here in Texas! The left lane is for passing.
Didn't your mommy tell you it's nice to share? The left lane is for everyone, not just those who get in it first. I know that you like setting your cruise control at five miles as hour below the speed limit so you won't get a ticket, and I'm cool with that. Just MOVE OVER, dammit! Some of us out here sharing the road with you actually have somewhere to be and want to get there as quickly and safely as possible. You are in our way.
Some of you, I know can't help it - you are driving as fast as you can see. I know this because of the white or blue hair you have. It looks like I'm following a cue tip. It must scare the Hell outta you when you see someone right behind you, right? So, move to your right and continue creeping along at 57 MPH in the 70 MPH zone all day and night if you like. We all want you to get to that bingo game in one piece. Good luck, as a matter of fact. I hope you do win that jar of peanut butter at the Moose Lodge.
Others of you act like you are the self-imposed-speed-police. "The speed limit is 60 MPH, so I'm going to go 60 MPH in the left lane all the way to Kansas City! Yes, there is an 18 wheeler right next to me for 37 miles and that way you can't get around us, either. We can all go 60 MPH to Kansas City, thank you." You are the person who causes the road rage because you actually do this on purpose - as your sense of duty as the highway-speed limit-police! People that have to pass you on the right aren't just waving with one finger, OK? Move it, mister!
And, the other group is our F.L.I.'s. That would be the Fu--ing Local Immigrants. This group of people is also doing the best they can, considering this is the first time they are driving anything other than a donkey. They must drive between 40 and 50 MPH on ALL highways, regardless of where they are. Everyone knows they don't have a driver's license or insurance so they poke along and hope not to run into anyone. You know this group because they all drive the 1980 model import that has blue smoke coming out of where the muffler used to be. This person will never move over becuase they don't know they should. You are best to just go around them as soon as you can see past the blue smoke.
Remember-drive Friendly out there, Texas.
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